// JavaScript Document function rollerCoster(id) { var txts = new Array(6);//Make a few Jokes - Ha Ha Ha txts[0] = "

Isabelle Cherney, PhD
Psychology Professor
Director, Honors Program

"; txts[1] = "

Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
Mathematicians are unable to make the connection.

"; txts[2] = "Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four hundred and seventy one:

12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb;
23 to deregulate the light bulb industry;
16 to cut funding for alternative lighting R & D;
34 to cut the marginal tax rate on high-wattage light bulbs;
9 to threaten trade sanctions if Germany and Japan don't start buying more 110-volt bulbs;
53 to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb;
41 to chat with defense contractors about equipping everyone in the building with night-vision gear instead;
And 283 to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs, or screwing anything, on the Internet.

"; txts[3] = "Error Messages and their Meanings...

It says: \"Press Any Key\"
It means: \"Press any key you like but I'm not moving.\"

It says: \"Please Wait....\"
It means: \"... Indefinitely.\"

It says: \"Directory does not exist....\"
It means: \".... any more. Whoops.\"

It says: 'Please insert disk 11'
It means: 'Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks.'"; txts[4] = "Pentium: redefining mathematics

Intel inside, Idiot Outside"; txts[5] = "You Know You've Been On The Computer Too Long When...

When you are counting objects, you go '0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D...'
You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours */
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.

"; document.getElementById("jokearea").innerHTML = txts[id]; }